🚨 EXECUTIVE ALERT: THE DAY IT FINALLY HAPPENS 🚨

The Big Beautiful Clot

“It’s not a problem. It’s a lifestyle.”

Everything changes for the president... eventually.

Meet Clotty

Loyal. Mysterious. Always present.
Clotty has been quietly preparing the president for the day it finally happens.

Clotty the mascot

Experts remain unsure what Clotty wants.

Presidential Clot Preparedness Dashboard

Clot Readiness Level: 72%

Hydration Status: Questionable

Step Count Today: 143

Snack Density Index: HIGH

Medical Advice Ignored: Multiple Instances

Status: Elevated Concern

The Prophecy

Clotty watching