🚨 EXECUTIVE ALERT: THE DAY IT FINALLY HAPPENS 🚨

Hydration Plan

Water has been added to the agenda. The agenda is also water.

The Official Hydration Plan

  1. Acknowledge the existence of water.
  2. Locate a glass. Any glass. The glass is optional.
  3. Consider drinking the water.
  4. Get distracted.
  5. Blame the media for the resulting dehydration.

Recommended daily intake: theoretical.

Sip Tracker

Fluids logged today: 0

Awaiting first sip. As always.

Beverage Analyzer

Select what you are calling “water” today:

No sample submitted.

Fluid Ledger

TimeIntakeNotes
06:40Considered it
09:151 sipCoffee. Counts, per us.
12:30Meeting ran long
16:00½ canDiet. Basically water.
21:45Too late now

Ledger maintained by Clotty. Accuracy is not among Clotty’s goals.

Current Hydration Status

Questionable

Last confirmed sip: unknown. Possibly Tuesday. Possibly a rumor.

Frequently Avoided Questions

Does coffee count?
Yes. So does thinking about coffee.

How much water should the president drink?
An amount. We are not going to be more specific than that.

What happens if I don’t hydrate?
See: the rest of this website.

Clotty watching