🚨 EXECUTIVE ALERT: THE DAY IT FINALLY HAPPENS 🚨
Locate Nearest Bunker
The nearest bunker is a state of mind. It is not stocked.
🩸 clot.gubberment
Home
Symptoms ▾
Symptom Directory
Shortness of breath
Sudden leg pain
Slurred speech
An ominous sense of timing
All symptoms currently under review by nobody.
Preparedness ▾
Preparedness Home
Readiness Dashboard
Hydration Plan
Locate Nearest Bunker
Consult a Physician
Options ▾
Executive Preferences
Ignore symptoms ✓
Blame the media
Declassify everything
Undo last decade
The Prophecy
Socialz
Merch
Newsletter
Blog
Emergency Protocol
← Preparedness
Bunker Locator™
Awaiting scan. Structural reassurance not yet located.
Scan Area
Bunker Preparedness Checklist
Flashlight (batteries sold separately, in another bunker)
Snack Density Index: HIGH (achieved)
Exit plan (see: Entrance plan)
Clotty (already inside, somehow)
